


Live Here in Heaven

by ScreamQueenBee (screamqueenbee)



Series: Thekillingfrost/Victorybringer [1]
Category: Norse Mythology, Thor (2011)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-29
Updated: 2012-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-02 16:53:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamqueenbee/pseuds/ScreamQueenBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki was always lonely growing up, set apart from the other Aesir around him. And when he finds the one person who doesn't make him feel like an outcast, Loki realizes that love, much like everything else, is something you have to fight for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live Here in Heaven

“What is love supposed to feel like, Mama?”

The question was rather out of the blue for Frigga’s quiet younger son. He was a young man now, and often kept his thoughts to himself. The wild, mischievous, grinning child she had raised had transformed into the solemn and, she hated to admit it, sad figure seated on the floor before her.

She put her shuttle down and looked at him very closely, he’d stripped off his sparring armour as soon as he was released from practice and changed into the tunic and trousers he wore for his lessons. He was passing a large grey pearl between his hands, playing at making it disappear and reappear between his fingers.

“I mean, how does one know when they love someone else?” Loki’s voice was quiet, as if he was embarrassed at not knowing the answer. Thankfully, the weaving room was empty save for the mother and son. Loki seemed to only speak when no one else could hear him, she knew this to be the result of Thor calling him a know-it-all and a show-off when they were still boys.

Loki was so intelligent and so talented, yet sometimes the smallest, simplest questions were his bane.

“Loki, love is a complex thing and it takes many forms. There is the love that your father and I share, the love we feel for our children, the love of Thor for you and you for him, the love he has for the Warriors Three and Lady Sif. They are all different and alike to each other, and no one person can define any absolutely.” She said, choosing her words carefully. Loki would later pick these words later until he could ascertain their full and true meaning. “Tell me why you are asking such questions.”

Her son took a deep breath, manipulating the pearl into an oblong shape that floated above his hands. “I believe I may be in love, Mama-”

Frigga’s heart leapt, she’d feared that he might not ever find someone to care for as she cared for Odin. Loki had never taken any real interest in the lovers he took or the young women or men of the court. Her husband said it was because he wasn’t trying hard enough, Frigga thought, shamefully, that he simply wasn’t able to. She couldn’t keep the smile from her lips or the happiness from her voice when she spoke next.

“Tell me of this person you love, Little Star.” She watched the oval shape turn on its end and tremble slightly at the whim of her son’s hands. “She’s… like Asgard in the spring, all warmth and sunlight. She’s intelligent, and kind… Just being next to her, I can’t even describe it. For the first time, I’m actually at a loss for words.” Loki’s face lit up almost instantly, Frigga promised to thank this young woman for being the reason her son smiled.

The pearl began to fracture and the queen recognized the motion as the opening of a chrysalis. It was like watching several hours pass in the span of a moment. With a wave of Loki’s hand, the grey shell fell away and revealed the crushed-looking, brightly-colored thing held aloft by his magic. Loki smiled again, holding his hands around the small creature, and blew on its yellow and black speckled wings, coaxing the wetness and creases away. She’d seen such an insect in the ornamentation of the Vanir, bright gold with wings the size of her palm and long, trailing tails. Was this woman one of the Vanir, known for their beauty and magic? What other kind of woman could capture the strange heart of her son?

“I feel like there is something, some part of me, missing. Through no fault of you or father, I’ve always felt set apart from my brothers. And she makes feel as if I belong here. She’s like me, Mama, she uses magic like I do. She treats me like I matter, like I’m more than just a prince of Asgard who is only to be pleased and petted and forgotten.” Loki looked up at his mother, looking every bit the mischievous boy she loved so much.

The creature tested its wings, fluttering in a circle a few feet wide before returning.

Frigga gathered her skirts and rose, stepping away from her loom and folding herself to sit next to Loki. “There was no need to ask, Little Star. It sounds to me as if you know exactly what it is like to be in love.” She smiled at her son, putting her arms around him and hugging him tightly to her. He hugged her back. The golden-winged creature flapped about happily around them both.

“I’m going to ask her if she’ll be my wife, I do not know when, but there is no one else.”

“Oh, Loki!” Frigga brought her hands up to his cheeks and kissed his forehead. ”We must start preparations at once! Who is this lucky young woman to have captured the heart of my little star?”

“She’s a lady of the court, you know of her already, Lady-”

Both mother and son looked up as the door to the weaving room burst open and a young maid Loki knew to be in the employ of Thea, Theoric’s mother, bowed low and apologized profusely for interrupting the intimate moment.

“My Lady requests a covering for a marriage bed. Her son is to be married in a month’s time.” The maid told them. Frigga rose gracefully, straightening her skirts. “Then the Norns have blessed this day for my son is to be married as well. Who is Theoric’s intended?”

“Lady Sigyn Iwaldidottir, my Queen.” Frigga smiled, Lady Sigyn would make a fine wife for any of the men of Asgard. “It will be done. Give Thea my congratulations.” The maid bowed her exit, shutting the door behind her.

The Queen turned to Loki, who had stood while the two women spoke. His posture was stiff, hands fisted at his sides, and face aggressively blank.

“Loki?”

Her son shook his head. “I must go, I should not be in this place anyway.”

Reaching out for his shoulder, Frigga touched the green fabric of his tunic. He didn’t meet her eyes when he turned to her.

“Who is she, Little Star?”

Several seconds passed before he answered. “Lady Amora. I’m late for my fencing lesson.” He touched her cheek with his lips briefly and Frigga could feel his shaking through the small contact. “I will see you at the evening meal. Goodbye, Mother.” He left quickly, slamming the side door to the point that it echoed.

Loki had meant Lady Sigyn. The realization hit Asgard’s queen like a blow to her heart and she sat heavily in the chair by her loom, head resting in her hand.

Theoric had claimed her son’s one chance at happiness.

True, Loki could fight him, but he was at least three times her son’s size and part of her husband’s elite team of warriors. Even if Loki could fight him, he’d have to kill Theoric. He did not stand a chance.

Through her fingers, she could see thin wisps of smoke rising from the floor. The Vanir winged thing, she’d completely forgotten.

It lay in shreds, once gold wings ripped apart and burned to cinders, its silhouette marked permanently on the marble floor as its only proof that it ever lived at all.

***

Loki was not at the evening meal, nor was he at any of the meals for the next day. When Frigga inquired about his absence, Thor told her that he’d left Asgard.

“Left?” She asked, pulling her older son into a small alcove away from the others in the hall. “When did he leave? Where did he go?”

“Sometime in the early hours. I am unsure of where he went, he simply said it was someplace I could not follow.” Thor answered quietly. “He did not seem himself. His temper was showing like it did when we were children. I went into his chambers this morning to see if he had returned and they looked as if he’d gone mad.”

“Oh, Thor.” Frigga put her hand to her mouth, her worst fears suddenly come to realization.

“If I only knew where he’d gone, I could bring him back.”

The Queen sighed. “If Loki does not want to be found, then he won’t be.” Frigga turned to her husband and other sons at the high table, Odin was giving her a questioning glance. “Give him a few more days, an event occurred yesterday afternoon that I suspect greatly upset him. Your brother may have simply gone somewhere to gather his thoughts.”

“I am worried, Mother. I’ve never seen him in such a state-”

The Queen put up a placating hand. “I know, little sun, but there is nothing we can do until he makes himself known to us. Loki will not be tracked and he has likely hidden himself from Heimdall’s eyes. Trust me when I say that it is best way to approach this situation with patience.”

Thor did not look like he approved of such a plan, and crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

“Go about your evening as you normally would and try not to think of this. It will do nothing to over-worry.” Her eldest son nodded, worry for Loki clearly showing on his face. “At the first word of news about him, I’m going to bring him back here.”

“I would expect nothing less from you, Thor. Now go, before your father suspects something is amiss.” He kissed her cheek and left, dissatisfaction set upon his features. When Frigga returned to the high table, Odin leaned over to whisper in her ear.

“Where is Loki? He’s not been seen all day.”

“You know our son, he appears and disappears at will. I’m sure he’s just causing mischief somewhere outside the palace.” She smiled at her husband, and he leaned in closer.

“We will be having words about Loki later, my heart, and certain events that have come to my attention.” Inwardly, Frigga shivered. Her son had many secrets, and it was impossible to know what Odin was referring to, but she did know that this would not be an easy discussion for her.

“Then we shall have them in private and not present them for all the assembled to hear.” She rose and beckoned to Baldr and Tyr to do the same. “If you’ll excuse me, it’s time to put them to bed. After, and only then, may you have your words.”

After Frigga had settled her youngest sons into their chambers with books and stories and lullabies, she entered the sleeping chambers she shared with Odin. He was seated upon their bed and spoke immediately when he saw her.

“Loki cannot marry.” Odin told her simply. “I am sorry, but I will not allow it to happen.”

The Queen stood still for a moment, stunned, then rounded on her husband. “What?” She all but hissed, voice just barely controlled. “Why not?”

“I cannot allow him to taint the Aesir with what he is. Any children of his would be abominations.” His voice was calm as he spoke, which only worked Frigga into a greater fury.

“Any of Loki’s children would be your heirs! He is a prince of Asgard, or have you forgotten?”

“He is a prince of Jotunnheim, or have you forgotten?” There was a slight edge of anger apparent then, a hardening of his expression. She stepped closer, her voice deadly quiet.

“What will you tell him? How are you going to explain to our son that he can’t have the same advantages that his brothers have? Will you finally tell him the truth?”

The answer came minutes later, and sent Frigga over the edge.

“No, I will not.”

“I have forgiven you for many things, Odin Borson. You have brought war into my home and infidelity into my life. You brought sons to me and I have taken them in as my own. Thor, Baldr, and Tyr have always had your love and your attention, you have always made excuses for their mistakes and faults, yet you do not afford Loki that same luxury. If you were not going to treat him like a son, then why did you take him?” The queen’s voice rose until it echoed like thunder in the high-ceilinged room. “Why did you give him to me to raise? You knew I would fall in love with the baby you brought me, just like I did with Thor. If you do what you say you will, I will never forgive you for it.”

Odin was silent while she yelled at him, his face a stony mask.

“I have made my decision, I will not change it.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry that you feel this way, but I cannot allow him to bring up an enemy into the heart of Asgard.”

Frigga stared in disbelief. “Loki is not the enemy-“

“I can’t trust him. He hides things from me.”

“You never tried!”

If the Allfather replied, the Queen of Asgard did not hear it, she stormed out of the chamber and into the corridor.


End file.
